Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Miracle in Me & My Greatest Gift

When I noticed a bump, I suspected, but I said to myself 'too soon.' At that point, I would have only been within my first week. As the weeks progressed, and the tell-tale symptoms along with time, there was no more denying. I finally confirmed my pregnancy nearly four weeks later. When the pain in my lower back and abdomen began and then persisted, along with the growth of my belly, I knew something wasn't quite right. I had been feeling this way for a couple of weeks. Upon the reassurance of women who've had children before: 'You're fine', 'I experienced the same thing with my first.' 'That's normal.' and so on, I tried to let their words ease my fears, but in my heart, I knew differently.
After an agonizing 3 weeks of self imposed bed rest, my appointment with the Ob/GYN finally arrived. After the needles, exam and two types of ultrasound, my fears were confirmed. The size of my abdomen and pain were indeed an indicator of a problem. No poetic way to articulate this: I have a fibroids. Such is the case, my pregnancy is high risk. But my hopes remain higher than any risk could be.

Ultrasound: 12/21/2010

Today, I will venture out in the blizzard of '10 to my first appointment with the high risk Ob/GYN at Brigham & Women's hospital, where they specialize in such pregnancies.
Now upon my 10th (or so) week, I've decided I will allow myself to relish the glory of this tiny being becoming inside of my body, come what may. Something I, hitherto, was reluctant to do. Daph and I are overjoyed! We're becoming parents. WE'RE HAVING A BABY! I never thought I would be able to say those words, but it's true. I'm not dreaming.
I couldn't have imagined the fearlessness and unconstraint with which you could love another human being until the moment I learned that human being was beginning inside my own being. What an incredible thing!

Update: Earlier today I trenched through the 17 inches of snow and made it to my ultrasound appointment in tact. After a more in depth ultrasound I learned I have "innumerable fibroids" and an ovarian cyst. I'm the kind of person who thrives on information, no matter how bad or difficult it is to hear and deal with. So, aside from the natural fears and concerns, I also feel empowered. The baby's heart is beating at 171 beats per minute, and she/he is active. The baby seems as determined as I am to pull through okay.

Ultrasound: 12/27/2010

My Dearest Baby,

I will fight for you, with you, to keep you growing and strong in only the way a mother could. There is nothing stronger than the will of a mother for her child. 32 years ago on the day you are due to be born, I was born. This confirms everything I believed that, despite it all, ultimately only the best things were meant for my life. And equally, only the best things will be dreamed for yours.

I love You,



  1. Oh Ree I am so happy for you that you are pregnant but it is so sad about the cyst and the fibroids. I will be keeping fingers and toes crossed for you that all goes well. My thoughts will be with you over the next few months. Keep well and I wish you a VERY healthy 2011. Diane

  2. OMG, Ree! Congratulations! That is such a heartfelt note to your baby. You two are going to be just fine. BWH has the worlds best. I am sorry for all the pain you have been experiencing but your positive attitude and willpower is quite an amazing thing. Keep us updated and sending well wishes your way!


  3. Congratulations! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you go through this pregnancy!

  4. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy! You seem like a fighter and I am sure your baby is one, too. Loads of hugs and well wishes.

  5. You are so strong...and I am so proud of you :) You and Daph and baby are always in my thoughts.

  6. Ree, congratulations! You are such a positive thinker and I know you will fight with everything you have for this baby. It sounds like the baby is doing well with the heartbeat and being active! My prayers and thoughts go your way and I'm wishing you and baby the best!

  7. OMGosh, congratulations. I'm sorry to hear about the high risk situation, but you are remaining so positive that I'm sure everything will work out just fine. Maybe your baby will be a good kicker and just kick those fibriod suckers right in the a$$. Can't wait to hear your updates!!

  8. Congratulations on your pregnancy, and i'm sorry about the problems. I hope everything will be ok. I went through a high risk pregnancy and my daughter was a 25 weeker actually :) please let me know if you need to talk, any time.

  9. I'm so excited and happy for you! Congratulations! And how cool is that you are due on your own birthday? I can't think of a better birthday gift! *HUGS*

  10. OMG Ree! Congrats is a really blessings and awesome new!! Oh my God! Is a beautiful gift for you and hubby! send you huggss! Take care!!

  11. congratulations mommy & daddy!

    keeping you and the little one in my prayers. praying that you have a healthy 9 month and give birth to a beautiful and healthy baby!

  12. Ree congratulations! That is so cool that the baby's due date is on your birthday. Best wishes...Keep us posted.

  13. Congratulations Ree - I wish the very best for you and your baby. I don't know anything about the condition you are facing or this risk it poses to you and your baby, but I feel certain that with such strength of will and such courage you will deliver a beautiful baby into this world. All the very best as you go through your pregnancy and for the year ahead.
    Sue xo

  14. Congrats Ree- I came over to see what you had been up too...catching up on blog reading as I put off the new year chores...I too was a high risk mom...will be keeping you in my thoughts!

    What a great Christmas present...and next years birthday!

  15. oh no, so sorry to hear of the complications but hope things work out smoothly from here. please keep us updated!

  16. oh Ree, CONGRATULATIONS!!!
    All the BEST, Ree!


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