Happy 1st Birthday, Barrett Leo!

One year ago, July 11th, I gave birth to my greatest joy. Today we welcome Barrett Leo to his very first birthday. I'm so grateful for this day. Albeit, a bit emotional too. You hear it said a lot, "Time flies." And it really does. But maybe more true than that--there are moments when you're a new parent where you look at this precious new baby and you're so struck by the the sheer awesomeness of it all: having carried life, feeling so blessed to have brought this beautiful child into the world; The paragon of humanness--so small and precious and curious. Their smell, so sweet. The way they look up at you, and the knowing pang you feel in your heart when they do because you, you are beholden to nurture all of this promise into something great.

You do your best, and the reward is an uttered "Mama" or "Papa", and little hands reaching up for you who they trust implicitly in a moment of need. You know then you're doing all you can to make them feel safe. Countless hours on a floor that reminds you of your age and their protests and screams, but finally sitting up without your help because they can do it now. Pulling themselves forward, faster and faster towards his favorite toy. He peers back to make sure I'm watching, impressed. I am, little cub, so proud. Even faster and faster still. Giggling all the while. Reaffirmed in your hard work, your patience and immeasurable love, despite any shortcomings you may have worried over all those early months. You're fulfilled.

 You watch, and soon they're standing, holding on to something without your help. It's in a moment like this where it hits you, you're not losing time, you're filling in the lines that time creates with the color of your life, and drawing past them with the permanence of those very moments you'll always remember. Etched into the pavement of your heart, the only place where time is truly inconsequential. And it's bittersweet.

There's only one point in anyone's life where they will be this innocent, so consistently pure juxtaposed against the ebb and flow of all other reality. Childhood is a dream. One in which you close your eyes and wrap your arms tightly around, if only to preserve just a bit longer.
You know the days are numbered before these little lives will belong more to the world than they do to you, in the way they do right now. But if you've done your job, that's exactly what you want.

And all that really matters, is right now.

In honor of my Barrett Leo on his first year, we say: "Hooray", "Hooray." We love you. Happy birthday/ Joyeux anniversaire, our baby boy.